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My family’s gynecologist saved my mother’s life twice. When I was 5 years old, he discovered her ovarian cancer in time to treat it. My younger sister and I didn’t know what was going on. The treatment took a long time but, thankfully, she recovered, we grew up, and I didn’t really give it much thought. Youth and a protective family environment has its advantages.
I don’t think I even realized she’d had cancer until sometime in high school when I revisited old family photos and, seeing my mother hairless from chemo, put two and two together. While I was away at college, she made it through breast cancer too.
Cancer survivor, hospice volunteer, husband, father, Professor Emeritus at San Francisco State University and all around “wise” man, Stan Goldberg, Ph.D. never ceases to amaze me with his uncommon common sense, sense of other and overall insight into human behavior. Dr. Goldberg’s recent post, Seeing Life Through Our Personal History: It’s a Gray world, gives clarity to why “most of us believe the world should be viewed as we see it and how otherwise, “shocked” we are when there is a “discrepancy between the right way—ours—and the ‘wrong’ way.”
The inability to see another’s view from their perspective does, indeed, lead to much discord, discontent, anger, hurt and, surely, global conflict. What a far better world this might be if we could put into practice and pass along Dr. Goldberg’s sage advice with the hope of opening more hearts and minds to his view on “understanding rather than condemning.” “Righteous judgments and moral outrage,” he says, “move us to the past—things that have already happened. It does little to explain why something occurred or was said. And, more importantly, offers little guidance for the future.”